Have a partner who’s love language is acts of service? Then check out these acts of service examples that are perfect for making them feel loved and appreciated.
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Understanding your partner’s love language is the quick win of the relationship world.
After all, if your love language is acts of service then you might be less than enthusiastic when your husband comes home from work with your favorite candy bar that he picked up from the store and a bunch of flowers.
While you appreciate it, it’s when he comes home and cooks dinner for you that you really feel loved.
When you know your love language, and that of your loved one, you can be more thoughtful and intentional in the ways you show love. You’ll know that your expressions of caring are received as they are intended.
As well as acts of service, the love languages include:
- words of affirmation
- gift giving
- physical touch
- quality time
Your preferred love language can change over time, so if you’re not sure what yours is or want to check it again, then you can do the quiz here.
You can also read more about Love Languages here.
However if you’re here because you suspect or know your spouse’s love language is acts of service and you’re looking for examples of things you can do to show your love, then you’re in the right place.
The key thing about acts of service is that it is an act, and that requires time and effort. You’re truly walking the walk not just talking the talk.
Here’s acts of service examples that you can use to show your love – but before you simply leap into doing the first 10 on the list and thinking you’re done, here’s some things to think about so your choices are thoughtful and considered.
- When they complain about household chores, which ones do they seem to dislike the most? And which ones do they actually enjoy? For example, I love to vacuum. I have a Dyson and my vacuuming is always punctuated with periodic checking of the canister to see how full it is. I even like to “double vac” a room – doing it for the second time after I’ve emptied the canister, just to see how much more dust and dog hairs I can get. Take my vacuuming away from me, I might even be kind of sad. However go and clean the bathroom? Now we’re talking!
- Are there things they often mention but ever seem to get around to doing – and that causes them stress? I’m thinking things like the garden being lost to weeds or booking an air conditioning service… important but not urgent tasks that can carry on from one weekend to the other. These are great things to do for them or to organize. You’ll also help reduce their mental load
- Are you so focused on what you could do for them that you forget to listen to them? If they actually ask you to do something specific or say they need something from you, then you don’t need acts of service examples- you just need to honor their request as far as you are able
- When you’re selecting these acts of service, are you aware of what you’re capable of? If you’re working long days and doing a side hustle at night, chances are you’re going to be feeling pretty spent. Think about what you can pull off realistically that you can also maintain. Maybe you do smaller gestures in the morning (like make them a coffee) and save the bigger tasks for the weekend
- After you’ve done one of these things, how does your loved one react? Take note and think about which acts of service are meaningful to them so you know what’s worth repeating and what’s a waste of time. And if they’re not overtly appreciative ever, let them know that you’re trying to show your love for them and you’d appreciate their feedback on what they really value
And a final tip before we get into the examples – the acts should be done willingly. Filling their car with gas and then complaining about how long it took to get done kind of defeats the purpose.
So in summary, making sure your acts of service are valued and appreciated comes down to fulfilling a need, that unfilled causes them some form of pain, that you are capable of doing well.
It’s even better when it’s unexpected.
Acts of service examples
Now we’ve got that out of the way, here’s acts of service examples for you to test:
- make the bed in the morning
- bring them a cup of coffee in bed
- make them a packed lunch
- clean their sunglasses
- do one of their regular chores
- take out the trash
- clean their car
- plate up their dinner
- get up and help when they’re working on something
- wash the dogs
- take the dogs out to the toilet by yourself
- mend a tear or hole in their clothes
- take their car for a service
- change the sheets
- order a repeat prescription for them
- pick up their prescription
- get them a fresh towel or warm up their towel in the dryer while they’re in the shower
- plan a date night or a weekend getaway
- look after the kids so they can sleep in
- untangle a necklace
- get that project finished that is still on their list
- print out their fave photo
- tidy their bedside table
- shine their shoes
- buy birthday cards for their family
- unpack the groceries
- clean the HVAC filters
- take their clothes to the drycleaner
- replace the toothpaste (rather than engage in a silent war as to who can make it last the longest)
- clean their laptop
- iron their work clothes
- water the plants
- charge their phone
- walk the dogs
- fold the laundry
- book tickets to an event they’d like to go to
- make their favorite meal
- bake their favorite cake
- record the game for them
- order their fave toiletries before they run out
- take them a drink when they’re out in the yard
- post a parcel
- organize a return purchase
- get their car serviced
- give them a night or weekend off
- set up reminders for important events
- have a shower together and wash them
- buy the groceries
- replace their razor, soap or shampoo in the shower
- open the gate for them
Really show your love through your actions with these acts of service examples.
And if you’ve got an Act of service partner, then maybe this has opened your eyes to all the things he or she does for you as well!