101 marriage goals to jumpstart your relationship (and your life)

If your marriage is slip-sliding into the stale category, consider adding in a serve of purpose, intention and teamwork with these 101 marriage goals.

Remember back when to those days when your relationship was new and all those firsts you experienced? First touch, first kiss, first time he said, I love you?

When we’re doing things for the first time with someone, it’s intense and exciting.

But there can only be so many firsts. And it’s the fate of human beings to become used to the things around us – including our spouses.

When we get used to each other, we can start to develop more siloed lives.

Next thing you know, you’re looking at that man on the couch wondering who he is and why you’re married.

There are many ways you can bring back excitement and connection into your relationship. But one of the best ways is to set marriage goals.

Marriage goals create purpose, intention and teamwork in your relationship.

However it’s important to consider what these goals are, how they’re framed and what you’re focusing on, it order to get the most out of them.

Luckily that’s exactly why I’m here!

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What marriage goals are not

As a goal setter since way back when, I know that learning about goals, creating goals, and working toward achieving goals is one of my most enduring passions. (It’s one of the reasons I became a coach – I also love helping other’s achieve their goals!)

Since marriage is also a passion of mine, it made perfect sense to put these two together to see what specific marriage goals can boost happiness – not only with your loved one, but also with your life.

Alas, many articles on marriage goals include ideas that are general relationship principles – not things that can be achieved through specific actions. For example, phrases like “have each other’s back,” “be kind and compassionate,” or “show appreciation and gratitude.”

These are all good things – but they’re not goals.

As an example, if a principle is to “have each other’s back,” a goal is to help your spouse complete a project by doing their domestic chores for a week.

By setting specific and actionable goals, you can make concrete progress towards building the kind of relationship you want based on the underlying principles and values that are important to you as a couple.

Magic really.

SMARTER marriage goals

In case you want more tips on what makes a marriage goal, consider the well-known acronym SMARTER.

SMARTER stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound, Evaluated, and Reviewed. I call it the love child of the SMART goal.

Here’s what each of these terms means in the context of setting marriage goals:

1. Specific: Goals should be clear and concise, with a specific outcome in mind. For example, instead of setting a vague goal like “improve communication,” a specific goal might be “to have at least one meaningful conversation per week with my spouse”
2. Measurable: Goals should have a way of tracking progress and measuring success. Using the previous example, you might measure success by keeping a log of the number of meaningful conversations you have with your spouse each week
3. Achievable: Goals should be challenging, but also realistic and achievable. It’s important to set goals that you believe you can actually accomplish. For example, setting a goal to have a meaningful conversation with your spouse every day might not be achievable. Once a week might be more realistic
4. Relevant: Goals should be relevant to your marriage and what you want to achieve. They should align with your values and the vision you have for your relationship. For example, if you and your spouse have a shared goal of spending more quality time together, setting a goal to plan a weekly date night would be relevant
5. Time-bound: Goals should have a specific timeline for completion. This helps to keep you accountable and focused. For example, setting a goal to have a meaningful conversation with your spouse every week for the next three months is time-bound
6. Evaluated: Goals should be evaluated regularly to see how well you’re progressing towards achieving them. This evaluation can help you to make adjustments to your approach if necessary
7. Reviewed: Goals should be reviewed periodically to ensure that they’re still relevant and aligned with your values and vision for your marriage

Setting SMARTER goals for your marriage can help you to be more intentional and focused about what you want to achieve, while also providing a framework for tracking progress and making adjustments as needed.

As you read the marriage goals below, and select those which resonate with you, see how you can reword it so that it meets the SMARTER structure.

Now, as I mentioned above, I’m a seasoned goal setter. I love setting goals in key areas of my life. If you’re wondering where my categories for marriage goals have come from, I’ve taken or adapted many areas from Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning, where he talks about having Level 10 life.

In addition, I’ve included goals from positive psychology – they’re the ones around meaning, values and strengths.

Environmental marriage goals

Environment goals are about the physical spaces around you.

One of my very first coaching clients said something that has stuck with me ever since, and that was about energy – she wanted the people, activities and spaces in her life to give her energy.

Think about the environments you spend time in and whether it gives energy or takes it away. These environment goals are all energy giving to you and your loved one.

1. Create a calm and clutter-free bedroom within the next three months by decluttering the bedroom, purchasing new bedding, and creating a relaxing romantic ambiance with selected décor (check out these romantic bedroom décor ideas)
2. Create a housework playlist that gets you both fired up for your weekly clean
3. Create a list of maintenance and update tasks to complete within the next six months, schedule specific times to work on each task, and track progress on a shared calendar or task list
4. Make a plan to renovate a room in your home. Research ideas then designers then work out a budget to complete the renovation within a specified time frame
5. Write down or express gratitude for at least one aspect of your environment, such as a cozy corner in your home, each day for 30 days. Share these with each other
6. Plan and then plant a vegetable garden on your property within a specific timeframe so that you can harvest the next season’s vegetables
7. Add scent to a specified room in your home by adding candles, essential oil diffusers, reed diffusers or incense
8. Analyze your work from home space to see how it can support you both to be more productive and how it can look more attractive. Make a plan to execute within the next three months
9. Plan and go on at least one outdoor adventure per month for the next six months, such as a hike or picnic
10. Plan and take at least one weekend getaway to a natural setting within the next six months.

Financial goals for married couples

Money can have a significant impact on the harmony in your home.

Arguments about money, stress over lack of money, and mismatched beliefs about spending are broad examples on how finances can impact negatively on your relationship.

Conversely, when you’re on the same page, and you’re ticking off financial goals, you can feel like an unstoppable team.

I believe every couple should have financial goals together. These can range from education around finances, debt reduction and wealth creation.

(When it comes to savings or debt reductions, these financial goals for married couples sometimes contain exact amounts, sometimes not, as it will depend on your unique situation).

1. Save $xxx within the next two years for a down payment on a house by saving $xxx per month.
2. Pay off $xxx in credit card debt within the next year by making monthly payments of $xxx
3. Save 3 months of living expenses for an emergency fund within the next year by saving $xxx per month
4. Contribute 10% of monthly income to a retirement account each month for the next year.
5. Pay off $20,000 in student loans within the next three years by making monthly payments of $556.
6. Save $100 per month by renegotiating bills and subscriptions within the next month.
7. Invest 10% of your income into managed funds for the next year and track the impact on your net wealth
8. Save $20,000 towards a new car within the next three years by saving $556 per month
9. Save $5,000 for a dream vacation within the next two years by saving $208 per month.
10. Take a money course / workshop to change your relationship with money (I personally recommend and have invested in courses by Manifestation Babe and Amanda Frances).

Fun and recreation marriage goals

When life gets busy taking time for fun can seem a waste. But enjoying life in the moment is key to feeling life (and love!) satisfaction.

These fun and recreation goals are an excellent start for a couple who’s been all work and no play.

1. Plan and go on one date night per month for the next year, alternating who plans each date night. (You can go here for date night ideas)
2. Sign up for dance lessons in a specific dance style
3. Plan and go on a weekend trip to a new location within the next six months, setting a budget and itinerary ahead of time
4. Purchase tickets to and attend one sporting event or concert within the next six months
5. Test out one of these mocktail recipes every week until you decide upon your new signature drink
6. Attend a weekly cooking class, learning three new recipes and techniques
7. Go on a camping or hiking trip within the next year, setting a budget and itinerary ahead of time
8. Attend one foodie event within the next six months
9. Join and participate in a recreational sports league for the next season, attending games and practices regularly
10. Plan and have a game night with friends within the next month, providing tasty treats.

You might also like: 50 group date ideas.

Giving marriage goals

According to Patrick Svendin, “giving to charity makes us happier; especially when we freely choose to give… The same is true with our time” (source).

You can amplify these feelings of emotional wellbeing by giving to others and contributing to causes with your spouse.

Here’s some marriage goals around giving.

1. Volunteer at a local charity, that aligns with your shared values and interests, for at least 10 hours in the next three months
2. Donate a set percentage of your combined monthly income to a chosen cause or charity for the next 12 months
3. Get on a waiting list for your local community garden and devote one weekend day a month to working on it
4. Once a week for the next month, buy a coffee for someone and share who you bought it for and why
5. Attend one fundraiser event together within the next six months
6. Volunteer for a cause in another country for at least two weeks within the next year
7. Organize a neighborhood cleanup or beautification project within the next three months, involving at least 10 neighbors and completing a set list of tasks
8. Do a random act of kindness once a week for three months and share your experience with your spouse
9. Create a monthly donation schedule for a local food bank, contributing a set amount of money or food items for the next 12 months
10. Register and participate in a charity walk or run event together within the next six months, raising a set amount of money for a chosen cause.

Health goals for married couples

Being physically healthy – which in my opinion is essentially engaging in an appropriate amount of exercise, eating well, sleeping well, and dealing with stress – is in many ways one of the most challenging things to do consistently because the short-term experience isn’t always as pleasurable as the long term benefit.

That short-term experience can be more fun or at least more endurable by sharing it with your loved one.

See how your success rate improves when you’re working on these marriage goals together.

1. Exercise for at least 150 minutes per week for the next three months by identifying and committing to an exercise routine that is realistic, achievable and enjoyable for both of you, such as going for a daily walk or attending a fitness class
2. Schedule a full medical checkup for both of you
3. Spend one day a week together meal prepping for the next seven days
4. Have a consultation with a nutritionist and implement their recommendations
5. Create a relaxing bedtime routine, and stick to it every night for a month
6. Identify and address any factors that may be disrupting sleep patterns, such as electronic devices in the bedroom or snoring, and commit to creating a sleep-friendly environment
7. Find a meditation class that fits both partner’s schedules, and commit to attending it together every week for the next three months
8. Discuss and agree on a set limit for alcohol consumption, and commit to sticking to it for the next six months and evaluate how you feel
9. Do a mobility or flexibility work out two times a week for a month
10. Find and select one new healthy recipe to try each week for the next three months.

Individual growth goals in marriage

Part of being in a relationship is having someone who has your back when you push yourself to try new things and reach for new heights.

Your partner can offer practical, financial, and emotional support in these situations.

These goals are ones that will help you as individuals continue to grow and thus make your marriage even more powerful.

1. Spend at least 10 minutes every day practicing a new skill or hobby that enhances personal growth and share the progress with each other for the next month
2. Read at least one book per month on personal development and discuss the key takeaways with each other
3. Attend at least one personal development seminar or workshop together within the next six months
4. Set and achieve a personal fitness or health goal within the next three months and support each other in the process
5. Review your calendars every quarter and identify where one spouse might need the support of the other to met their goals and brainstorm the form of the support
6. Spend at least 15 minutes per day in mindful meditation for the next month and reflect on the experience with each other
7. Commit to financially and practically supporting the other partner to take a course that will help them achieve their personal goals
8. Spend at least 30 minutes every week for self-reflection and journaling to track progress and identify areas for personal growth and share your reflections with each other
9. Research and identify potential mentors or coaches, and commit to connecting with at least two by the end of the year to gain new perspectives and insights into personal and professional
10. Engage in at least one intentional communication exercise or activity (such as active listening or expressing gratitude) each day for the next month.

Marriage goals around meaning

Feeling as though your life has meaning is a fundamental need of all human beings.

When we are in a relationship, we have the ability to create much meaning in our daily lives through the rituals, traditions, and practices we develop together.

(You might like these ideas for rituals of connection).

We also have someone sharing our lives who is as invested as us in making our life bigger and better.

1. Create a list of discussion topics and questions about each other’s core values and beliefs. Spend at least half an hour per week for the next two months discussing these
2. Spend at least one hour per month for the next year discussing and revisiting a shared vision for the future which includes long-term goals and aspirations
3. Create a ritual around celebrating each other’s accomplishments and successes and enact it as appropriate
4. Create and work on a shared bucket list together, completing at least one item per month for the next year
5. Collaborate and discuss shared values, aspirations, and purpose, and commit to creating a shared mission statement
6. Set a time each day for the next month to share what you are grateful for
7. Have a monthly catch up with another couple with whom you have shared interests for the next six months
8. Create an after dinner ritual and test it out every night for a week
9. Create and work on a shared reading list together, completing at least one book per month for the next six months
10. Develop three new traditions each around Thanksgiving and Christmas and implement them. (Try these Thanksgiving traditions for couples and these Christmas traditions for couples).

Marriage goals around values and strengths

Being crystal clear on your values and living in alignment with them stops that feeling of being disconnected from your own life. It creates an unshakeable stability deep within.

Individuals have values which should be honored and respected in a relationship AND as a couple they have values which should be central to your lives together.

In addition, we all have things that we are good at and things that we’re not so good at. Working with our strengths as opposed to focusing on our weaknesses, is one of the fastest ways to make progress.

1. Create a list of your top 5 values as a couple
2. Spend one week on each one of your top five couple’s values, living them as much as possible in your every day life
3. Go through your regular weekly activities. Note whether they align with personal or shared values. Remove those that don’t
4. Assess your budget and your financial goals and bring them into alignment with your values. For example, if adventure is a top value, are you allocating the finds for this in your budget? Are you planning adventures?
5. Discuss the values you think extended family members have and how you can use your knowledge of yours and their values to improve the quality of your relationships with them
6. Take a strengths assessment and discuss the results together
7. Analyze the jobs that you both do to manage your home and reallocate them based on your individual strengths
8. Go on a strengths date (where you do an activity connected to your strengths) and evaluate your experience
9. Discuss how you can use your strengths to achieve the marriage goals you decide to set
10. Look for conferences or workshops related to your personal or shared values or strengths. This can be a great way to connect with like-minded people and learn new skills or perspectives. Attend one within the next 12 months.

Relationship goals

Now all these marriage goals are well and good but here we look at what you can do to take your relationship to the next level.

Much of these relationship goals are around improving communication, increasing appreciation, and all being a better partner for each other.

1. Spend at least 15 minutes per day, at a set time each day, for the next month practicing active listening and effective communication
2. Set aside 10 minutes a day for the next month to discuss ways to build trust, such as being honest, reliable, and dependable
3. Express appreciation and gratitude for each other at least three times a day for the next month
4. Spend at least 30 minutes per week for the next three months discussing and setting boundaries that respect each other’s physical, emotional, and mental space and needs, and commit to respecting them
5. Do a 30 day marriage challenge
6. Spend at least 30 minutes per week for the next three months discussing and practicing healthy conflict resolution techniques, such as active listening, empathy, and compromise
7. Express love and affection through physical touch such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, and saying “I love you” at least three times a day for the next month
8. Spend at least two hours per week for the next three months identifying and enjoying common interests and hobbies
9. Create and implement a date night at least once a month for the next year (here’s how to plan a regular date night
10. Attend one marriage enrichment program or couples’ retreat within the next year
11. Identify and discuss specific issues that need forgiveness and work towards releasing any resentment or anger towards each other within the next three months

Spiritual goals for your marriage

We are spiritual beings. It’s one of the reasons we search for meaning and purpose in our lives.

Spirituality means different things to different people, so these goals aim to cover the range of what is possible.

1. Attend a religious or spiritual service together every week for the next six months
2. Attend one marriage retreat or counseling session focused on spiritual growth within the next six months
3. Meditate together for 10 minutes every day for the next month
4. Read one spiritual book per month for the next six months and discuss it together
5. Attend one spiritual retreat or workshop within the next year
6. Volunteer together for a spiritual or charitable organization at least once a month for the next six months
7. Attend a spiritual festival together within the next year
8. Take turns sharing one thing you are grateful for each day for the next month
9. Create a shared spiritual practice, such as prayer or mindfulness exercises and practice the shared spiritual practice for 10 minutes every day for the next month
10. Write and exchange letters of appreciation for each other at least once a month for the next six months.

Setting goals in any area of life can be a powerful tool for personal growth and achievement, and this is just as true for married couples. By setting SMARTER goals across the areas I’ve mentioned above, you can create a roadmap for a fulfilling and thriving marriage.

(Why not create a couples vision board of your goals?)

Of course, remember that marriage goals are not a one-size-fits-all.

However, by using these marriage goals as a starting point and adjusting them to fit your specific needs and desires, you can create a shared vision for your future and work together to achieve it.