You can buy your own flowers and write your name in the sand. Stands to reason then, that you might also like to date yourself – even if you are in a committed relationship. These 50 solo date ideas give you plenty of inspiration for the next time you want some quality alone time.
The first time I went on a solo date was born from necessity more than anything else. I was still unhappily married to my ex, who was otherwise occupied performing in a musical production in a town we were visiting. With time to spare, I decided I would go to the movies.
The experience was initially inherently awkward. It felt similar to the awkwardness I often felt looking at people at restaurants or cafes as they tucked into their solitary meals. Surely they couldn’t be enjoying themselves without company!
However when the movie ended I realized I’d enjoyed myself as much as, if not more, had I been with my spouse (full disclosure, this wasn’t difficult).
A love affair with solo dates was born.
It’s interesting that society encourages us to believe that “happiness is only real when shared,” to quote Christopher McCandless.
And while sharing experiences is important for happiness – because reminiscing about an event can make us almost as happy as experiencing the event itself – going on a solo date comes with many benefits.
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Why going on solo dates is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship
Even when you’re all loved up, there’s no reason why all your dates should be as a couple. Going on a solo date can be a powerful way to enhance your relationship. Here’s why:
It can help you recharge and reconnect with yourself
Taking time for yourself is essential for your mental and emotional wellbeing, even if you’re in a relationship.
When you go on a solo date, you have the opportunity to recharge and connect with yourself in a way that’s hard to do when you’re with someone else. You can reflect on your goals, values, and interests, and rediscover what makes you happy and fulfilled.
This, in turn, can help you bring a renewed sense of energy and positivity to your relationship.
It can help you become more self-aware and improve your communication skills
Going on a solo date can also help you become more self-aware, which is a critical skill for any healthy relationship.
When you spend time alone, you learn more about your preferences, your boundaries, and your emotional needs.
This knowledge can help you communicate more effectively with your partner and express your feelings and desires in a clearer and more confident way.
It can foster independence and reduce codependency
Being in a relationship can sometimes lead to codependent behaviors, where one partner relies too heavily on the other for emotional support and validation.
Not going to lie, my husband plays cricket every weekend during the six months of cricket season. That’s a good 8 to 10 hours I spend on my own in the weekend (one of the reasons why weeknight dates are important in our relationship).
It was easy in the beginning to feel as though I was hanging around waiting for him to be finished. This also had the unpleasant side effect of making me resentful.
Going on a solo date was a way of breaking this pattern. Solo dates foster greater independence and self-sufficiency. When you take care of yourself and engage in activities that you enjoy, you become less reliant on your partner for fulfillment and happiness.
This can lead to a more balanced and equitable partnership.
It can help you explore new interests and broaden your horizons
One of the best things about going on a solo date is that you have the freedom to explore new interests and activities that your partner may not be interested in.
This can help you broaden your horizons, expand your knowledge, and discover new passions.
When you bring this newfound enthusiasm and curiosity back to your relationship, it can add an exciting and enriching dimension to your shared experiences. You might even convince him that it’s something worth exploring together.
It can give you a fresh perspective and reignite your passion
Finally, going on a solo date can help you gain a fresh perspective on your relationship and reignite your passion.
When you spend time away from your honey, you can reflect on your feelings and desires, and perhaps even gain a new appreciation for your loved one’s unique qualities and strengths.
This can help you come back to your relationship with renewed energy, excitement, and commitment.
How to make the most of these solo date ideas
So you have the best time on your solo date, follow the “BELLS” tips below.
Be flexible
So you turn up to the Tree & Serpent: Early Buddhist Art in India, 200 BCE–400 CE exhibition and quickly realize it’s not your jam. That’s okay – you have no one to please but yourself, so you can simply leave!
Remember this is a positive experience, not one in self-flagellation.
Embrace the experience
Consider how you can do something that makes you feel excited about doing it.
Feeling excited doesn’t have to mean adrenaline producing. It can mean something you find fun or relaxing, out of your comfort zone or self-care orientated. It can also be something you always wanted to do.
Lock your solo date in on your calendar
Create a sense of anticipation by putting your plans on the calendar. Anticipation is a third of the happiness equation when it comes to experiences.
You’re also making a commitment to yourself and others that this time for you is important.
Set an intention for your experience
Be clear with yourself what your intention is for your self date. State it out loud, beginning with, “I intend to…”
First and foremost, your intention is to have some quality time with yourself. It can also be to learn something new, try a new experience, nurture yourself… the list is as endless as solo date ideas.
Speaking of which…
Solo date ideas
These 50 solo date ideas will give you plenty of inspiration the next time you’re planning on taking yourself on a date.
At home solo date ideas
At home solo date ideas are the jam if you want to indulge in some self care.
- Buy the latest book from your favorite author and cuddle up and read it.
- Have a movie marathon at home with your favorite films. Choose a theme, such as your favorite genre or actor, stock up on snacks, get cozy, and lose yourself.
- Order all your favorite dishes and have them delivered – and you don’t have to share!
- Run the bath, put in your favorite oils and light some candles.
- Plant a vegetable garden so you can enjoy seasonal produce in the months to come.
- Try a perfect day exercise, where you get clear on what a perfect day in your ordinary life would look like. This is a great reverse engineering strategy for setting goals and creating habits.
- Explore your values. This is hands down the most valuable exercise for living your life with a sense of alignment and fulfillment. Try these free resources to understand your values.
- Shop your wardrobe. This is an especially good self date when the seasons are changing. You can try everything on and see what needs altering, mending, donating or wearing! It can also provide the structure for your shopping solo date idea below.
- Watch a live concert on You Tube of your favorite band from when you were a teen.
- Check out some You Tube hair tutorials and experiment with a new look.
Free or cheap solo date ideas
Want a solo date idea that won’t break the bank? Try these free or cheap solo date ideas.
- Go to an art gallery. Spend a peaceful afternoon admiring the creativity of the art on display at your local art gallery. Linger in front of your favorite pieces.
- Go to the library and snuggle in a corner and read. This is a perfect opportunity to dive into a new genre or author you’ve always wanted to explore.
- Go on a bike ride and explore new areas. Choose a scenic route, soak in the fresh air, and enjoy the feeling of freedom as you pedal along.
- Go on a hike or nature walk. Get back to nature and clear your mind with a solo hike or nature walk. Choose a trail that fits your fitness level and desired scenery – and remember to be safe by letting people know where you are going and how long you will be.
- Take a scenic drive. Preferably one where you play your favorite songs loudly and sing tunelessly along.
- Take a self-guided street art tour. Research the best street art locations and set out on foot to discover new murals and masterpieces.
- Visit a local historical landmark. Learn something new about the place you call home.
- Visit your local botanical garden. At the least you’ll see beautiful flowers. At the most, you’ll see inventive and creative displays.
- Visit your local farmer’s market and cook a meal with fresh ingredients.
- Visit the museum. Choose an exhibit that interests you or challenge yourself to explore something new, and let the museum inspire and educate you.
Other solo date suggestions
If the above 20 ideas weren’t enough for you, check out these!
- Attend a perfume making workshop so you can indulge your sense of scent.
- Attend a photography workshop so you can take your photography taking to the next level.
- Buy yourself that luxury item you’ve been visualizing for a while.
- Check out your favorite clothing stores. Remember that solo date idea to shop your wardrobe? Now you know your wardrobe gaps, have a fun shopping experience.
- Craft a candle holder or the like at a pottery workshop. Get so good you and your loved one can recreate the Ghost scene in times to come.
- Go on a ghost tour.
- Go on a scenic train ride (not one through the slums of your city).
- Go on a sunset sail or boat ride.
- Go to a DIY workshop and learn a new skill.
- Go on a sightseeing bus or tram tour. Some cities have free trams that tour around (I’m thinking of you, Melbourne Australia). You can also take a tram tour with a dining experience.
- Go to a spa and treat yourself to a massage.
- Head down to the beach, trying any of these beach date ideas.
- Learn about constellations so you can star spot.
- Look at the list of events in your town over the next week and pick the third one to go to.
- Mani-pedi. It’s an instant pick me up.
- Refresh a room in your house with some new decor, rearranging of furniture and / or using some of those DIY skills you picked up above.
- Sign up for art classes.
- Sign up for dance lessons. Be like me and discover you’re not as coordinated as you think.
- Stay at a luxury hotel and order room service.
- Take a cooking class. Go for a cuisine you enjoy eating.
- Take a day trip to a nearby town or city.
- Take a helicopter tour of your city or region. You’ll appreciate the scale of your local area and it might even help finally work out how it all fits together (talking from experience here).
- Take a horseback riding lesson.
- Take a kayaking or paddleboarding class.
- Take a meditation class. Remember there’s no judgement in meditation and it can take regular practice before it seems like you’re just sitting there letting your thoughts run wild.
- Take a yoga class.
- Test drive some new cars to see what’s next on your list!
- Try a snorkeling or scuba diving excursion.
- Unleash your inner child by thinking of your favorite activities when you were younger and indulging in them.
- Visit a zoo or aquarium. Here’s some tips for a fun aquarium date perfectly adaptable for solo dates.
Being content in your own company is a great gift. You will gain a sense of security from knowing you always have your own back. These solo date ideas are a tool to help deepen your relationship with that all important person in your life – yourself.
(In a long distance relationship? Consider adding these solo dates to your list of long distance relationship dates).