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My sweet home life: making marriage the heart of the home logo

My Sweet Home Life

making marriage the heart of the home

Questions to ask your spouse to reconnect

By Katie Leave a Comment

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Life pulling you away from your spouse rather than together? Here’s my top 20+ questions to ask your spouse to reconnect.

A couple laughing together outside. His head is bowed touching the side of her face. The text overlay says,

When you go on your first date, you’re asked questions.

When you meet the parents, you’re asked questions.

But as firsts slip into “many”s, chances are you’re not asked questions any more – at least, not questions that matter.

After all, asking if you want a second helping of dessert isn’t what a deep and meaningful connection is founded on.

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That’s why I’m a big fan of asking questions in a relationship. I do it as part of date night, or when we’re on a road trip, or when we’re sitting on the couch relaxing.

Depending on the mood, there’s plenty of questions to ask. My faves include intimate questions for couples and romantic questions for couples.

You might also like: Questions for couples.

But none of these questions are quite right if you’re feeling like you’ve lost that loving feeling… even if it’s just a little.

That’s why these are different kinds of questions – questions to improve your marriage, questions to deepen intimacy, – simply put, questions to ask your spouse to reconnect.

Before you start asking these questions, however, here’s a few things to keep in mind.

These questions are not a checklist to be raced through in one sitting. Take your time to ask each one, and really listen to the answer before you offer up your own response.

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In addition, leave your defensiveness at the door.

A long time ago, someone said to me that we only react to things we believe to be true about ourselves. Remember that before you tell them why they are wrong.

Finally, fully focus.

These questions are designed to help you reconnect, so it makes sense that you’re not on your phone or computer, doing some other task, or watching something on Netflix when you’re asking them.

Be present.

A couple lying on the bed making a love heart shape with their hands.

Questions to ask your spouse to reconnect

  1. What do you remember about the first time we met?
  2. When did you first realize you were in love with me?
  3. What are your favorite qualities of mine and why?
  4. What were your hopes and dreams for us as a couple when we first committed to each other?
  5. Have we achieved those dreams? If not, which ones would you still like us to go after?
  6. Tell me about a time I made you feel really loved.
  7. What kind of things make you feel loved?
  8. Is there anything I used to do that you loved that I don’t do anymore?
  9. When do you feel the happiest?
  10. When do you feel the saddest?
  11. What do I do that hurts you – unintentionally or otherwise?
  12. What is missing from our lives right now?
  13. How do you think we could fix what’s missing?
  14. What’s the main thing you need from me?
  15. What are some goals for our marriage you’d like to set?
  16. What so-called irritating quirk of yours would you like me to get over?
  17. What do I (or don’t I) do that makes you feel appreciated?
  18. What do I (or don’t I) do that makes you feel respected?
  19. What do you think our strengths are as a couple?
  20. What do you think our weaknesses are as a couple?
  21. How can I be a better spouse to you?
  22. How can we be a better team?
  23. What dream of yours could I support you with, and what would that support look like?
  24. What kind of things could we do to add more excitement and fun to our relationship?
  25. What’s the number one cause of tension or disconnection in our marriage right now?
  26. What are you the most excited about for our future?

These 26 questions to ask to reconnect with your spouse are designed to increase the emotional intimacy between you, so you return to being part of that awesome team that is you.

Consider asking one a week during your weekly relationship meeting.

Want greater connection in your relationship?

Then you'll want this freebie.

It's called the KISS connection and it's a FREE 4 step everyday practice that will bring back that loving feeling.

Hit the pink button to get your free copy today.

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Welcome! I’m Katie and I’m excited to help you make your marriage the heart of your home.

After two failed marriages before I was even 35, I’d given up on my happy ever after. I already had one cat so I thought I’d get a few more and call it a day.

Then, thanks to a mutual friend, I met Ben and finally got my happy ever after.

But even strong relationships require regular care and attention to flourish.

That’s why one of my main joys in life is making our marriage the best it can be – from the little things that make up every day through to celebrating our anniversaries in style.

Come join me!

 

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