A couple washing the dishes together, the woman being happy after getting her husband help around the house after reading these tips

25 Comments

  1. Thanks for this take on things Kate. I know we could do with a little more help, but as you say, changes do take time so I won’t hold my breath, yet.

    1. This is really great info. We (as women) can sometimes be too demanding. And too like you said, maybe not realizing all of the things our better half already does for us. This is a good reminder!!

      1. Thanks Lory, I read somewhere each person in the couple thinks they do like 75% of the housework, so I think we can be a bit blind to other contributions at times!

  2. While every relationship dynamic is different, I think partners should be sharing household duties. If you’re getting a response like “But why would I want to do the dishes?” from your husband when you ask him to do the dishes, then you need to have a serious talk because a lot more is going on than him just not wanting to help you. While I love my fiance, we’re both adults and we both work full time. It’s not fair for only one of us to be stuck doing everything. It’s not that I’m lucky that I have a man that actually helps out around the house, it’s that I’ve already set the expectation that he does his fair share around the house. They don’t inherently help you around the house, you have to work that out on your own!

  3. I am coming to the realization that I am completely and utterly spoiled by my husband. He is always helping and proactive about getting stuff done. It is sad for me to think that there are relationships where the men firmly believe that it is a woman’s job to keep the house clean.

    1. Lucky you Jackie! I do think though that in many cases it’s not that they believe it’s the woman’s job, rather that they just don’t think about it!

  4. I have a wonderful husband who works all day while I stay home. He will often decide to do the dishes or laundry just to help me out. He’s trying to be nice but it makes me sometimes feel like he’s doing something I didn’t get around to fast enough. I’d rather he just kept on top of the garbage so I wouldn’t have to deal with the stairs. I’ve had him 47 years and wouldn’t trade him for the world.

    1. Like when they leap off the couch and start doing something you feel obligated to join them right? Congrats on the 47 years- that’s so awesome, and I hope to be saying that one day too!

  5. This is some great advice! It is such an uphill battle to get my boyfriend to do any domestic chores. He will always help with the outside tasks, or anything that requires tools. But washing the dishes… forget about it! I feel like her purposely does a poor job so that I feel like I always have to do it :/

    Gennifer Rose

    1. Ha, I am sure that can be a strategy- the first time my husband washed my clothes he turned a white dress green. Thankfully he now checks!

  6. I love everything about this post. Men are often villianized, when (at least in my household), I am often shocked at how much my husband actually does. I love that you’re emphasizing that there is no right way and wrong way, only his way and her way.

    Great article!

  7. This all makes a lot of sense. I know I don’t give my husband enough credit and he has said before that he doesn’t load the dishwasher because I go in behind him and rearrange. I’m going to try harder to adjust my expectations and be happy for what he does do. And let him do it his way! I realize that he can’t read my mind and sometimes when I’m fuming, he has no clue. Thanks for sharing!

    1. It is super hard to not redo their jobs… but you must try your best not to otherwise you yourself are making yourself responsible for everything.

  8. My problem, since my hubby recently retired, is that if I’m not fast enough, he does all my chores. He’s not one to sit around, and I know he’s trying to be helpful, but really, it makes me feel guilty.

    1. Yabut, I bet you have worked super hard over the years – and so if he wants to help, I think I would be enjoying his help!

      1. Actually, I’ve been at home for the past 45 years. I used to not do anything on weekends so I could spend the time with him, but now it always feels like a weekend and so he likely thinks I don’t do anything and he has taken over. LOL Okay….so I’m spoiled! 🙂

        1. Haha maybe so! It could be his love language is acts of service – so I would say sit back and tell him how much you appreciate him!

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